Paternal Dictionary ~~ New Meanings of Common Words PART 2

1. “Look”

What it usually means: To gaze upon something.

What it means to parents: A plea heard hundreds of times per day asking you to watch a dance, funny face, or video game being played.

2. “Vacation”

What it usually means: Big cities (New York!), sunny beaches (Maui!), or ski resorts (Vail!).
What it means to parents: Disneyland.

3. “Grandparents”

What it usually means: Mom and Dad.
What it means to parents: Glorious people who take your kids off your hands now and then.

4. “Throw up”

What it usually means: Something you do once or twice a year when you drink too much or are really sick.
What it means to parents: Something your kid does once or twice a day on you.

5. “Dora”

What it usually means: A woman’s name, usually short for “Dorothy.”
What it means to parents: A cartoon character who won’t stop asking your kid stupid questions.

6. “Timeout”

What it usually means: Something you call in a football or basketball game.
What it means to parents: Something you give your kids when they’re acting like little a-holes.

7. “Me time”

What it usually means: Putting your feet up with a good book and glass of wine.
What it means to parents: When you go to the bathroom (that is if your kids don’t follow you in there).

8. “Knock-knock”

What it usually means: Someone’s at the door.
What it means to parents: A joke your kids won’t stop telling over and over and over (and over).

9. “Snacks”

What it usually means: Delicious food you eat between meals.
What it means to parents: The goldfish crackers you keep at the bottom of your purse.

 10.  “Netflix”

What it usually means: A service that lets you binge watch Mad Men and Breaking Bad.

What it means to parents: A service that suggests only cartoons and Barney specials.